What does your body say?
If you have ever watched the TV comedy, “Everybody Loves Raymond,” you know that Raymond’s wife, Debra, loves to call him an “Idiot” whenever he does something dumb. Sometimes, his actions are SO dumb that she even rolls her eyes.
One day, Raymond suggested that they be nicer to each other, which included her not calling him “Idiot” any more. It also included not rolling her eyes. Of course, the next time he did something stupid, she couldn’t help but roll her eyes, to which Raymond shouted, “I heard that!”
Our bodies say an awful lot our mouths don’t intend to say. By rolling our eyes, pursing our lips, and doing other things with our faces, we’re often calling people idiots without intending to. By tapping our fingers or our feet, we’re sending a loud and clear message that we don’t value (or have time for) the information being told to us at the time.
Whether or not we have time for it right then is beside the point. If we really don’t have time, we should just tell them we’d appreciate being able to speak with them later on because we’re in a rush and can’t fully focus on what’s being said right then. It’s disrespectful to “pretend” (or fool ourselves into thinking) we have time, but then make it obvious to the speaker that we don’t.
Another action to watch is how we often reflect our own internal consternation. No matter how impatient you are with someone’s questions, stop and ask yourself:
- Is it reasonable for them to be asking this? Are they new to the job? Have they been trained properly?
- Who else can they ask for help if you don’t have time… or if you’re not the right person to guide them?
- How do you make them feel when they ask you questions? Do you make them feel valued and supported so they can do their job well? Or do you make them feel stupid, which could cause them to eventually stop asking and do the job wrong… or leave the company?
I have a friend whose boss makes her feel like a complete idiot every time she asks a question. However, she was never trained properly for her job because her “trainer” was the previous employee in the position, who was too busy making preparations for her new job that she never had time to train the new employee. But every time my friend goes to her boss, she feels worse and worse. So, she tries her best to get the information elsewhere, even though it takes her twice as long to do the job as it should.
…and now she’s looking for a new job.
If we don’t treat our colleagues and employees right… and if we make it difficult for them to do a good job for us, they won’t. And they’ll either leave and find a new workplace where they can feel like a success… or worse, they’ll stay right there and do their current job poorly.
Let’s help them succeed by treating them right and helping them succeed!
