Although this video is published on my WOW Assistants Playlist on YouTube, it is applicable to people in many other professions, as well. That’s why I’m posting it here – I hope you enjoy it! For your convenience, the major points are listed below.
(In the video, I share a story of how I almost said “yes” to the wrong opportunity out of desperation!)
There are so many people who feel guilty saying “no” to requests made of them, but it’s not reasonable for anyone to expect us to say “yes” 100% of the time. So, here are some reasons when and why you should reconsider that “yes” – followed by some tips to help you diplomatically say “no”.
Reasons to say “no:”
- It doesn’t suit your personality
- You’re not comfortable doing it: I don’t mean that you should never stretch yourself or leave your comfort zone, but don’t say “yes” unless you can get comfortable or practice in another situation first.
- It doesn’t fit your values. No judgment involved in the person requesting you to say “yes”
- There’s no time to cram it into your busy schedule and do the job well: Know yourself… do you throw yourself into tasks “full throttle?” If you don’t have time to do this, something will suffer, even if it’s just your sanity!
- Just to stroke your ego: You’re so honored or flattered that someone wants you to do it, but it doesn’t fit any of the other criteria for you to say “yes.”
- You’re being pressured from outside to do something: If it’s not right for you, don’t let others pressure you into it.
- Your gut is telling you that it’s not the right thing to do: Your gut is rarely wrong! We can all think of times when we had a gut feeling about something and followed it, and were really glad we did. Then there are other times, we probably ignored that gut feeling and regretted it later.
Suggestions for how to say “no” diplomatically:
“I appreciate the offer/request, but I know myself. I never jump into anything without giving my all… and I just don’t have the time/bandwidth/ability to do the job well for you at this time. So, I’ll have to decline. But please keep me in mind for future opportunities to serve.”
This honors the request (and the requestor), lets them know you appreciate it, and also tells the truth about why you have to say “no” at this time.
For a business opportunity: “Thank you, but this is not part of my business model/business plan at this time.”
For a business or non-business opportunity: “Thank you, but this doesn’t feel like the right opportunity for me at this time.”
For a career-related request: “Thank you, but this doesn’t fit my career goals at this time.”
You could offer an alternative or compromise: “I can’t take on that role at this time, but may I help in another capacity?”
This helps you say “no” to a huge project, but still offer at least some help to the requestor. It doesn’t have to be “all or nothing!”
In summary:
- Be diplomatic
- Tell the truth
- Show gratitude
- Offer other help, if you can
- Be kind
